


Fishing for Answers: The Gongoozler -(an Essay examining the Gongoozler)

by ADHDdumbass



Category: CrankGameplays - Fandom, Cryptid - Fandom, Mythology, Unus Annus - Fandom, ethan nestor - Fandom, the Gongoozler
Genre: Documentary, Essay, Mutant, The Gongoozler - Freeform, Trickster Spirit, Unus Annus, cryptid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:35:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27078145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ADHDdumbass/pseuds/ADHDdumbass
Summary: This is an informative essay my friend wrote for school but they don't have an ao3. This is like a documentary or expository essay about the Gongoozler who is a cryptid from unus annus.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 41





	Fishing for Answers: The Gongoozler -(an Essay examining the Gongoozler)

**Author's Note:**

> I had to write an essay for school, but had no inspiration, so like the adhd dumb*ss I am, I wrote it about the Gongoozler. This is also just my interpretation of the Gongoozler so take it as you will.

Only approximately four million people know about the Gongoozler. Not the people that like to watch the canals in the United Kingdom; no, the trickster that lurks in dark waters. The Gongoozler is an amphibious, reptilian, or otherwise aquatic or semi-aquatic being. Those who know of it usually perceive it as a monster or a trickster spirit. It inhabits bodies of water such as lakes, rivers, large ponds, unguarded pools, and even oceans. The origin, the biology, the cryptozoology, and the dangers of the Gongoozler are known to those who believe, but nothing about the Gongoozler is scientifically proven. 

The origin of the Gongoozler is almost definitely California, USA. The legend, if it is indeed only a legend, was first spread by the Cult of Unus Annus. It is speculated to be related to several other species, has one confirmed sighting, and only theory as to how it biologically originated. The Gongoozler has several similar relatives. It is cousin to HeeHoo (previously known as Caveman-Mark), the creature in the woods, no longer a man; and to the Melon Man, an entity that inhabits different bodies of its cultists, the Melon Cult. This cult has a large, though unsurprising, overlap with the Cult of Unus Annus. It is not biologically related to scp-11325; however, many people consider them to be part of the same classification of supernatural entities. All of these creatures (with the exception of scp-11325) are speculated to be part human, some of them are thought to be spirits, and all are related to the Cult of Unus Annus. Those who have studied these beings believe that they are related for these exact reasons. The first recorded sighting of the Gongoozler was October 11th, 2020. It was first documented by Annus, one of the leaders of the Cult of Unus Annus, along with his partner Amy (who is the human counterpart to scp-11325). Unus was present in the beginning of the recording, but disappeared at the same time that the Gongoozler first made itself known. Unus was the first to mention that the Gongoozler might be lurking in the water, and the first to disappear. Unus returned to the cult the next day, as is usual when one of them dies (with the exception of HeeHoo). This is the first and only recorded sighting of the Gongoozler, besides an article impossibly similar to the Shia LeBeouf legend which is presumed to be a hoax, and Unus’s own mentions of a previous sighting. Others have claimed to have encountered the Gongoozler, though none have been recorded. The biological makeup of the Gongoozler is somewhat contested, but it has numerous definite traits. Experts agree that it has a fishlike, horizontal tail, usually tinted green or turquoise. It has a humanoid torso and head, webbed fingers, and double lidded eyes. It is theorized that the Gongoozler is either amphibious or its own class; though some believe that it is a spirit and therefore does not adhere to the rules of this world. The Gongoozler is almost certainly cold-blooded, with a set of lungs and a set of gills, as well as two hearts: one for pumping blood from the lungs throughout the body, and one for pumping blood oxygenated by the gills through the body. The cultists have varying ideas of what the Gongoozler looks like, but the most agreed upon description is: it is the size of a human, with a tail that makes it seem approximately 1.3X the size of even the tallest genetically typical human. 

Different artistic interpretations of the Gongoozler are based on different local legends and the inconsistent folklore. Believers also question whether it is a spirit, a monster, or if it was human at some point, like HeeHoo. Most believers think it is a trickster and not malicious or demonic, and many of them have different ideas of what it looks like. According to more scientifically educated, the Gongoozler is an evolved specimen, according to spiritual and/or superstitious people, it is a spirit, and according to some cultists, it is a fallen or mutated human, some even claiming it to be Unus himself, similar to how HeeHoo is Annus. A popular theory is that it is a non-human or semi-human creature, and that it has powerful bonds to the spiritual world despite being of the physical realm. This is backed up by the claims of the Gongoozler being sighted more often closer to Halloween, very soon after Mabon, the fall equinox, when the physical and spiritual worlds are closest. Youth will usually call the Gongoozler a trickster cryptid, while others think it is an evil spirit trying to drown souls to fill the underworld. Experts are increasingly convinced that the Gongoozler is a playful thing, it latches onto the toes of anything in its waters, and it sometimes inhabits unattended or abandoned pools, seeing as that is where it sees humans amuse themselves. As further proof that the Gongoozler is a mischievous entity, and not a hostile one, is that it rarely kills. Someone may think that it kills most of his victims, but in reality most of them die because they cannot swim, or they lose in a game against it. The Gongoozler often forgets that other creatures are unable to breathe underwater, and unwittingly leads them to their deaths. Those who know it are terrified of it, but also fascinated by it. Cthulhu is a beast of infinite knowledge and terrible power, but the Gongoozler is one of fun and sometimes unkind humour. The artistic renditions of the Gongoozler render it from an under average human size to the size of a bus; it sometimes presented similar to merfolk, or a humanoid fish; some with hair, some with webbed ear-flaps; some entirely green, and some have a human half and a black or blue half; human teeth, or huge needle teeth; some artists even depict it with a bioluminescent lure. Throughout all of them, they have humanoid torsos and fish-like tails.

How does one stay safe from the Gongoozler? Learn its attacks and tricks, and how to avoid it. The Gongoozler is fundamentally a playful being, like an orca, but without the intention of eating its toys. Known for pulling swimmers down by their toes, it is always a good idea to keep feet & toes in swim shoes or flippers. Frequently, the cryptid will remain underwater and hidden until it can pull swimmers down and surprise them with its huge smile. It even knows simple games such as red rover, tag, hide and seek, waterhoops, and even nutball. Knowing how to play these games will prevent any injury that may come if the Gongoozler tries to play one of these games with its prey. The call of the Gongoozler is also very important to be able to identify, especially when night swimming. In the words of Unus, “if you hear the call of the Gongoozler, death is coming.” Simply enough, the Gongoozler’s call is easily identifiable because its call is its name, “The Gongoozler”. To avoid the Gongoozler, stay away from dimly lit bodies of water, cover any exposed toes, avoid eating water-melon 8-36 hours before swimming, depending on how often you sh*t, and when participating in night-swimming, always invite the Gongoozler to play a game on human terms, like water tag, so that it will not play its own games that can lead to death.

The Gongoozler is a dangerous being, but not ill intentioned, it simply wants to play tricks & have fun, however this does not mean that the Gongoozler is not a threat. As a cryptid, the Gongoozler is not confirmed to be real, after all, what would a cryptid be otherwise?

Memento mori  
Unus annus


End file.
